Shock Waves
by CancerTheCrab
Summary: Everything begins to rain down on Barry Allen. He tries to cope. By running away from his friends and screaming into the void of a canyon. Good job, Barry. Reaction fic, also Barry needs a break. TW: panic attack. Post-Trajectory, Pre-Flash Back. Rated T just in case (references to character death/murder).


" _AAAAGGGHHHH!"_

The entire team could hear Barry's yell through the comm. It was pure anguish, utter pain. It was the sound that a broken man would make. Barry was shattered by the new information. Jay Garrick is Zoom, the very same Zoom that had almost taken away his ability to walk. To _run_ , to _help_ _people_. His back had been broken along with his self-worth and spirit.

Then, the monitors beeped and showed that Barry was in distress. Caitlin ran over and looked over his vitals. She saw that he wasn't physically injured, but she couldn't say the same for his mind. The chemicals in his brain were unbalanced and his breath was quick as well as his heart. It was racing, faster than usual, which was one clue as to what was happening. Now the only noise that came through the communicators was his heavy breathing, which became worse by the second. She could hear him wheezing now.

"Barry! Barry, you have to calm down, okay?" He said nothing. There was only silence except for his struggling.

"Caitlin, what's happening? What's wrong?" Iris asked. The geneticist was acting weird, not telling Cisco to get any medical tools out.

"This was bound to happen at one point," she muttered, "I just wish hadn't run off." She looked up and said, "He's having a panic attack, Iris."

"Well, what do we do?" Cisco asked. He knew he couldn't do a lot of good in this situation, he was good with machines _not_ people.

Whether Caitlin ignored him or not wasn't clear because she turned back to the microphone when Barry choked out that he couldn't breathe. "Barry I need you to stay with me, okay?" She spoke as if she was talking to a frightened, dangerous animal.

Barry gasped for breath but he was unable to calm down. His chest ached and his head spun horribly. He fell to his knees and let his jaw fall open to try and get his lungs to expand. Panic set in, wild and roaring in him.

"Barry! I'm going after him!" Joe said.

"I'll come with you," Iris, Cisco, and Caitlin said in unison.

"Iris, Caitlin you come. I don't have room for all of you." He ignored the 'hey!' from Cisco and strode out of the room toward his car. Catlin snatched a small bag from out of the room that was their improvised hospital. Cisco tossed Iris a small headset as she ran alongside Caitlin. Inside was a brown paper bag and a shock blanket.

Iris handed headset to Caitlin who quickly put it on and said, "Barry, you're getting too much oxygen. Listen to me, Barr, okay? Listen to my voice. You have to slow down." She knew that it wouldn't help much but she couldn't just be quiet. Maybe her familiar voice would help him. It was wishful thinking though, seeing as he we still breathing too fast and hard to be healthy. Iris, in the passenger seat, shuffled her feet and gripped the handle on her door.

Tears squeezed out of the corner of his eyes. His neck strained as he tried to slow his breath. He couldn't. He couldn't. He can't breathe. Harrison Wells of Earth-1 was Eobard Thawne. Zoom is Jay Garrick. His chest squeezed his heart and lungs. Every single failure and betrayal played through his mind. Eobard Thawne killed his mother. Barry had the ability to save her but _he didn't_. Nora Allen's pale and bloodied corpse appeared in his mind's eye and when he tried to blink her away she didn't disappear. His father went to jail for _years_ for crime he didn't commit. Every failed battle, broken bone, and wound from battles with metahumans danced in his head along with every death he was responsible for. Barry would scream if he could but currently his head felt like it was going to explode. More tears fell to the dirt. He into himself and laid his forehead on the ground, the tips of his toes digging into the ground. He gripped his hair and tried to breathe. He saw Joe from the other Earth die. Iris getting his with the piece of glass. Himself getting stabbed and beaten by Zoom. _Jay_. Caitlin's new love, the one that broke her heart. He saw Caitlin and Ronnie relatively happy in the alternate reality and them being _evil_ together. He saw Ronnie die in both dimensions. He saw himself every time his speed failed him just as he let down his friends. The family he couldn't protect.

Barry saw every failure in his life.

Joe finally arrived at the canyon and lunged out of the car. Caitlin and Iris jumped out as well, the former opening up her bag. Joe kneeled behind his child, The Flash, and gently unfurled him. Tear tracked glistened in the sunlight on his cheeks. Sitting himself down, the cop kept Barry sitting upright.

"C-can't breathe," he choked out. Iris sat and held his hand, letting him squeeze it. Caitlin opened the brown bag and held it to his lips and kept it there until he used his own hand. The four stayed like that for an indefinite amount of time, allowing Barry to calm down. He was exhausted and the adrenaline that had activated from when they were waiting to hear Cisco's answer and from panic had taken a toll on him. Now, he leaned against Joe with pure trust and allowed his adoptive father to pick him up and lay him in the backseat with his legs on Caitlin's lap and head on Iris'. He didn't wake up even when they got to Joe's house and remained asleep when the cop changed him into sweatpants and a comfy t-shirt. He was still dozing away even as Iris sat herself down next to him and carded her fingers through his hair, silently letting the realization that Jay is evil, that he hurt Barry, sink in and let the rage course through her. When Barry woke up later, though, sitting straight up in bed, she remains strong for him. She stayed a pillar of strength when he broke against her. Barry would be drowning in his grief and anger, but Iris would help him. Cisco and Caitlin would help him too. His team would be there for him. He would finally take refuge in them like they have done to him. He would curl up and for once allow himself to be weak in their presence. Later, they would rally. Hours, days, from now they would use their anger to battle the evil speedster. _Later._ Right now, Team Flash has only one objective.

Be there for Barry.

oO-Oo

 **A/N:** MMMMmmmmMMMM. *groans and flops against desk* *groans again* ooohhh….ugh. This didn't come out exactly like I wanted it to but in my eyes it's still good. Mostly. Also, in reference to my other author's note in the second chapter for Unfortunate Effects, I guess I was wrong. This is the third story I've posted today! Yippee. Urgh I hope my slight rushing didn't lower the quality. I actually wrote the first draft on my phone, which always seems to end up with really small paragraphs and an over all really short story. Whatevs I'm okay and this is too, mostly (not really I hate when I do that). Okay, bye.


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